Her Active Philosopher: How did it get This Bad? at Her Active Life

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Her Active Philosopher: How did it get This Bad?

Posted August 13, 2007 at 05:00 PM by Katie Drummond

Section: Her Fitness, Her Health, Body Image, Eating Disorders, Her Motivation, Her Nutrition, Healthy Eating, Her Story, Special Features

In this weekly column, Her Active Philosopher, Senior writer Katie Drummond, waxes philosophical and writes lyrically as she invites us on her personal health and fitness journey. You can read her previous columns by clicking on the following links: column one; column two; column three; column four; column five; column six; column seven.

hiker I’ve never shied away from sharing my own struggles to eat right and gain weight, while maintaining an athletic lifestyle, with others. Much as I find inspiration in other athletes, teachers, family, and friends, I have had many individuals tell me that hearing about my hardships has made a marked difference in their own relationships with food and exercise.

Recently, I shared my story with members of an online athlete forum, and was shocked at the volume of responses. Women and men from all over the world, and every walk of life imaginable, responded with their own tales of disordered eating, over exercise, weight loss, and eating disorder treatment. While it was reassuring to know that I wasn’t alone in my struggles, I felt less a sense of empowerment and fellowship than I expected. Instead, the onslaught of responses filled me with sadness – how have so many people fallen into such a tragic trap?

Of course, we all know that eating disorders run rampant in North America, particularly among female athletes. The obsession with performance and appearance can lead to all sorts of skewed ideas and approaches to eating and exercise. Some of the stories I’ve heard include daily runners subsisting on 1,200 calories a day, women eating next to nothing all day to “save calories” for a dinner with friends, athletes dreading the thought of skipping a workout, or obsessive dieters refusing to eat in front of friends and family.

Stories of recovery are less common, but equally jarring. From hospitalization programs that see patients consuming 5,000 calories a day from a wheelchair to one woman whose hyper-metabolic state saw her waking with night sweats when her body went into recovery mode; getting well seems harder than staying sick – but the results clearly speak for themselves. It is without a doubt that the sooner we admit a problem and dedicate ourselves to wellness, the better for our bodies and minds.

If the stories I’ve read are any indication, eating disorders are only becoming more common, longer lasting, and harder to detect. A normal weight woman may seem healthy and fit, but a disordered relationship with food and exercise could very well lurk beneath the surface, causing irreparable damage to her own body, not to mention costing her the joys of a normal life and healthy relationships with family and friends. Many I’ve spoken with have never been underweight, but this doesn’t mean they haven’t faced challenges that still haunt them every single day.

Reading the replies my post received, and offering support and encouragement to those struggling alongside me, only boosted my own resolve to get healthy. This quest, which sees me on a no-workout, high calorie intake lifestyle, is not merely a “weight gain diet.” Rather, it is a new training plan. I may not be preparing for a marathon, but I’ve still got athletic aims to pursue and goals to reach – mine just involve cat naps and trail mix, rather than stopwatches and sprints.

The bottom line is that obsessing over food, eating, and exercise takes time, and it takes energy – two things better spent in ways that I can only begin to imagine. I wish I had never gotten myself into this mess, but I’ve vowed to make getting out of it one helluva good time. Rather than obsess about my daily runs, I now treasure my leisurely walks. I sit and read for hours on end. I devour a nightly bowl of ice cream. I imagine myself healthy and strong.

To everyone struggling – and there are a lot of you, I know – envision your life without unnecessary burden and obsession, and imagine what you can do with the time and energy you’ll save. I know the struggle to get well is a long road, but I’m in it until I reach the end – and I hope you are too.

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