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HAES: How Do I Love Myself? Let Me Count The Ways…

Posted March 14, 2008 at 06:00 PM by Jessica Hale

Section: Her Health, Body Image, Her Motivation, Special Features

In this regular column, staff writer Jessica Hale muses on the ins and outs of Health at Every Size - a body-embracing philosophy that aims to empower women and men to embrace their bodies as-is, and celebrate healthy, active and fulfilling lifestyles. Today, Jessica shares a few tips from her own self-lovin’ world.

Recently, Her Active Life’s own Katie Drummond published an excellent article called “Five Tips for a Beautiful Body”, offering advice on how to love your body as it is right now.  Self-acceptance is the most important and most difficult step in embracing Health at Every Size. We all have days (or weeks!) when we don’t feel as beautiful as we really are, and it’s so useful to have an arsenal of confidence-boosting rituals to help us ride out the occasional wave of self-bashing. Here are some of mine.

Snuggling my cat. A few months ago I adopted Tesla, a calico fuzz bomb who is as soft in heart as she is in body. Tesla doesn’t care how big my thighs are or that I have a pimple on my chin; she just wants me to rub her belly and show her the same unconditional love that she shows me. Of course, adopting an animal isn’t possible for everyone, but you probably have at least one person in your life who, like my Tesla, loves you for you – no matter your dress size. Maybe it’s a parent, a romantic partner, or a good friend. Whoever it is, spending time with someone who loves you is always a big confidence boost – even if all she can say is “Purr”.

Cooking an elaborate meal. Sometimes, when I’m not feeling my most fabulous, I bust out one of my dozen or so cookbooks, pour myself a glass of wine, and pretend that I’m the host of my own Food Network show. I may not be a four-star chef, but pulling something together from simple ingredients can feel like a huge accomplishment. Cooking also gets me in touch with food in a way that microwaving a frozen entree can’t. When you were responsible for creating all the flavors, textures and aromas in your dinner, food can seem truly amazing, and you’ll be more likely to savor it rather than wolfing it down and then feeling guilty about how many calories you’ve consumed. (And if any Food Network execs are reading, I have a business proposition for you. Call me.)

Dancing. I recently invested in one of those cute little iPods, which hold 240 songs and take up a little more room than a two-dollar coin. It gives me an almost embarrassing amount of pleasure to close all the curtains in my apartment, pop in my earbuds, and get down with my bad self. For me, dancing is a way of using my body for the sheer enjoyment of using it. I’m not thinking about how many calories I’m burning or how stupid I look; I’m just moving to the music the way Justin Timberlake intended me to. Try it out next time you’re home alone. It’s a lot more fun than the gym.

Enjoying the simple things. For most of us, life isn’t a constant rollicking adventure, and I sometimes find myself blaming the way I look for my periodic slow times. At times like that, it helps to remember those little things that make you happy every day. Maybe it’s a hot shower, singing along to the radio in the car on the way to work, or getting an e-mail from a faraway friend.  For me, it’s my morning coffee. Your life may not always be full of za-za-zoom, but I guarantee that indulging a daily pleasure – however small – can improve your mood exponentially.

None of my tips are particularly earth-shattering, I know. But the advice to take away is that I don’t need to lose ten pounds, get an expensive makeover, or buy a new wardrobe in order to feel better about the way I look – and neither do you. We’re just fine the way we are. Sometimes we just need a little reminding.

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Tags: body acceptance, body awareness, body image, empowerment, haes, health at every size, healthy eating, intuitive eating, self-acceptance, women's bodies

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